Jokes : Darwin - Evolution - Creationist

Below are jokes about Darwin, evolution and creationist. I collected them from many great sites on the internet, links are at the bottom of this post. Enjoy!

• Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division.
  

• Why did the chicken cross the road?
  Darwin1: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
  Darwin2: The fittest chickens cross the road.
  

• How do you identify a bald eagle?
  All his feathers are combed over to one side.
  

• Three freshman-engineering students were sitting around talking between classes, when one brought up the question of who designed the human body.
  One of the students insisted that the human body must have been designed by an electrical engineer because of the perfection of the nerves and synapses.
  Another disagreed, and exclaimed that it had to have been a mechanical engineer who designed the human body. The system of levers and pulleys is ingenious.
  "No," the third student said, "you're both wrong. The human body was designed by an architect. Who else but an architect would have put a toxic waste line through a recreation area?"
  

• One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orang-utan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's The Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?
  "Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
  

• Q: what do you call the leader of a biology gang?
  A: The nucleus.
  

• Did you hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other as a control.
  

• A Charles Darwin anecdote:
  
  Charles Darwin saw a beetle and picked it up. He saw a second and picked that one up in the other hand. He then saw a third one, which he really wanted. Not knowing what to do, he shoved one of the ones he was holding into his mouth in order to pick up the third one. The one in the mouth emitted some kind of stuff which made him spit out the beetle and also lose the other two.
  

• Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
  

• Q: How do you tell the sex of a chromosome?
  A: Pull down its genes.
  

• "In Science the credit goes to the man who convinces the world, not to the man to whom the idea first occurs."
  
  – Sir Francis Darwin (1848-1925, English botanist, son of Charles Darwin), In: Eugenetics Review (April 1914, "Francis Galton")
  

• An unemployed biologist got a new job at the zoo. They offered him to dress up in a gorilla's skin and pretend to be a gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo.
  On his first day on the job, the guy puts on the skin and goes into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring.
  During one acrobatic attempt, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help!"
  The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, "Shut up or we'll both lose our jobs!"
  

• Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
  

• Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should
  

• I love fools' experiments; I am always making them. – Charles Darwin
  

• LADIES & GENTLEMAN !!!!
  IT'S THE BATTLE OF THE MILLENIUM !!!!
  CREATION VS. EVOLUTION!!!
  
  This is going to be a caged, no holds barred match, to the death!!!!
  
  In one corner we have EVOLUTION, who brings with it an assortment of weapons, including : records, fossils, actual proof, and even a bit of faith and belief.
  
  In the other corner we have CREATION, who brings---wait a minute, CREATION is pulling something from out of a sack, it's a....it's a.... It's a book ?!? CREATION has brought a book to use in battle. And yes a bit of faith & belief.
  
  It's unbelievable the way they are going at each other folks ! It's a battle royal. Who will win this grudge match? Who will suffer from their loss? We may never know. Let's watch & see, and pray ours is the victorious one, which ever that may be.
  

• Ovulation versus cretinism
  
  Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory at school.
  
  In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favour of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction is taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the truth. Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also be taught.
  
  Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:
  
  1. It is a scientifically established fact that the stork does exist. This can be confirmed by every ornithologist.
  
  2. The alleged human foetal development contains several features that the theory of sexual reproduction is unable to explain.
  
  3. The theory of sexual reproduction implies that a child is approximately nine months old at birth. This is an absurd claim. Everyone knows that a newborn child is newborn.
  
  4. According to the theory of sexual reproduction, children are a result of sexual intercourse. There are, however, several well documented cases where sexual intercourse has not led to the birth of a child.
  
  5. Statistical studies in the Netherlands have indicated a positive correlation between the birth rate and the number of storks. Both are decreasing.
  
  6. The theory of the stork can be investigated by rigorous scientific methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the stork.
  

• Scientists and God
  
  One day a group of Darwinian scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one Darwinian to go and tell Him that they were done with Him.
  
  The Darwinian walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost."
  
  God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the Darwinian was done talking, God said, "Very well, how about this? Let's say we have a man-making contest." To which the Darwinian happily agreed.
  
  God added, "Now, we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."
  
  The Darwinian said, "Sure, no problem" and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.
  
  God looked at him and said, "No, no, no. You go get your own dirt!!!!"
  

• Evolution is God's way of issuing upgrades.
  Evolutionism: The speciocity of speciation!
  

Still not convinced about evolution?

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