Science Jokes : Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Richard Feynman : It didn't cross the road to the other side. It actually came back to where it started but was momentarily moving backward in time.
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Taken from : Surely you are joking, Mr. Feynman!

Nicolaus Copernicus : Despite the evidence of you senses I can show that it is mathematically simpler to describe it as the road passing under the chicken.

Archimedes
A1 : To actualize its potential.
A2 : She was buoyant and excited at the thought of new adventures.
A3 : Eureka!

Andre Ampere : To keep up with current events.

Alexander Graham Bell : To get to the nearest phone.



Why did the chicken cross the road?

Werner Heisenberg
A1 : We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
A2 : It was uncertain if it could make it, but wanted to try on general principles.
A3 : Because the chicken is moving very fast, you can either observe the chicken or you can measure the chicken, but you cannot do both.
A4 : We could tell you how it crossed the road, but we couldn't tell you where.

Robert Boyle : She had been under too much pressure at home.

Marie Curie : She was radiating with enthusiasm as she crossed the road.

Albert Camus : It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

C. J. Doppler : For its effect on passer-bys.



Why did the chicken cross the road?

Thomas Edison : She thought it would be an illuminating experience.

Karl Gauss : Because of the magnetic personality of the rooster on the other side.

Hawking
A1: The first seconds made the universe in such a way that chickens cross the road.
A2: There exist numerous parallel universes in which the same chicken is in differing stages of crossing the road. Only when one of the chickens has completed crossing the road do their ave functions coallesce.

Albert Einstein : Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your point of view. The chicken did not cross the road - it transcended it.

Gustav Hertz : Lately, its been crossing with greater frequency.





Why did the chicken cross the road?

Galileo : To get a better look at the stars.

Johannes Kepler : He crossed in an arc, not a straight line.

Lemaître : He crossed with a big bang.

Newton
1) Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.
2) It was pushed on the road.
3) It was pushed on the road by another chicken, which went away from the road.
4) It was attracted to a chicken on the other side of the road.

Ohm : There was more resistance on this side of the road.



Why did the chicken cross the road?

Pascal : It was pressured to cross the road.

Wolfgang Pauli : There already was a chicken on this side of the road.

James Watt : It thought it would be a good way to let off steam.

Zeno of Elea : To prove it could never reach the other side.

Stephen Jay Gould : It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories despite the fact that we have little direct evidence about the genetics of behaviour, and we do not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviours that figure most prominently in sociobiological speculation.




Why did the chicken cross the road?

Aristotle
A1 : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
A2 : The other side of the road was its natural place.
A3 : To actualize its potential.

Immanuel Kant : The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.

Jean-Paul Sartre : In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Jean Foucault : It didn’t. The rotation of the earth made it appear to cross.

Nietzsche : Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.